Vive adentro. Lo conosco bien. Es enemigo. Enemigo de muchos años. No me déjà en paz.
The monster lives within. He is the enemy. The enemy of many years. I am not at peace about this. One can not be. I have read many stories of others’ battle quite similar to mine and never do I come across a passage that sounds peaceful. We are always at war. Largely, it brings on sleepless nights and vigilant days. Why vigilant? We are never “off”. The enemy is relentless. I labor. I want it gone. I wish it’s reign would end. That only takes place once I’ve ended. Dilemma.
Asi que, voy tratando de vivir con paz. ¿Facil? No. ¿Imposible? No.
The monster lives within. It will find opportunity to rear it’s ugly head. I meet it. I slay it. Hopeful.
La primavera. Spring is here, in full regalia. I so embrace it. It is my second favorite season, right behind Summer. I love the flowers, the color of Spring. Winter is gray, grayer and grayest. Hate that. Spring is evident in the department stores as they offer the Spring line-up of fashion. What could be better than a dress in green, peach and lavender? There is, however, a catch to the marvels of Spring. El Enemigo tambien esta ofreciendo algo. Pero es peligroso. I live in a cyclical pattern with El Enemigo. In the Spring it becomes more evident that I am not alone. It’s right there waiting for the cue. I pace in the early mornings while the rest of the family is asleep. I try for a cup of coffee but my cup, full and untouched, remains waiting for me. Reheat…again. Never mind. It’s not decaf.
Springtime brings its loveliness…with a price. Memories of frightful things. Ruminations. El Enemigo coexists with the new Spring line at Nordstrom Rack. Sometimes a cute size 6 dress serves as the perfect foil. I feel better already.